Updated: Aug 13, 2020
I’ve been going over how to start this, although money is something that everyone in the modern world uses every day it’s also one of the most unspoken about, taboo subjects for a lot of us to talk about. We’re not taught how to manage our money in schools and then depending on how our parents viewed money (were they good with money or not) it’s no surprise that so many of us struggle around money.
I love money and I love talking about it but I am also extremely conscious about how uncomfortable that can make a lot of people feel. I’d like to ask you to stop and think...when you read that, how did it make you feel? Did you think she’s really greedy saying she loves money and there’s something wrong with her wanting to talk about it or did you agree with me and think yeah! I love money too and I love everything that it gives me the ability to do?
For a lot of people rich, poor, stable, struggling but just getting by, actually sitting down and having a conversation about where you are financially and where you want to be can be a really scary, embarrassing and/or daunting conversation.
This is where limiting beliefs can come in and also stories and patterns that we’ve learned growing up that we carry with us now.
When you think about it are you aware of any patterns or spending habits that your parents or people you grew up around had with money that you still carry now that are holding you back or blocking you from reaching financial freedom and earning the money you could be earning? One of my parents favourite sayings growing up was “money doesn’t grow on trees” and we always seemed to have just enough to get to the end of the month but never enough to plan a big holiday if we wanted or an emergency fund for if something went wrong. Both of my parents went through their lives with credit card and loan debts and no proper savings and they both earned well so there was no need for them to live like that but they spent money unconsciously on things that we didn’t really need and I don’t ever remember them having a conversation about a budget or creating a cashflow and working out how to clear their debt and then use that money towards savings for family holidays or having that emergency fund. I imagine that’s how their parents had lived and their parents before them! I am changing that mould but it has taken me a long time to accept and let go of those thoughts around money, it’s nice not to have any debt and to have money in savings and to want to earn more without feeling guilty or shameful saying it so that I can plan exotic holidays, buy things I want without worrying about how I’m going to pay for it and work towards my dream house (I have that built down to the wall decorations in my mind and it’s in my 5 year plan! Do you have a 5 year financial plan?)
How do you see your wealth and your money?
Do you work hard all month every month just to get to the end of the month to get your payslip and then within a week you have nothing left and no idea where your money has gone so you spend more on your credit cards just to survive the month and then spend the rest of the month worrying about how everything is going to be paid? Or do you live constantly worrying that your money is going to run out so you always buy the cheapest of everything, never plan holidays or experiences and save every spare penny you have just in case?
When you think about where you are now financially and where you want to be in the future are you excited about the future and you have it all planned out or is it something that you completely block from your mind because you’re in debt and can’t see a way out of it or you think of money as something that’s evil and to want financial freedom and abundance it makes you evil and or greedy?
Do you have self-limiting beliefs when it comes to money and wealth? Many of us do!
Would you believe me if I said that wealth is a state of mind and we are all wealthy? If you have a roof over your head, a bed to sleep in and food on your table then you are among the wealthiest in the world.
We are living in one of the wealthiest times in history but also one of the most scarcity mindset times around money and wealth in history.
What do I mean by scarcity mindset, 100 years ago having a roof over your head, a bed of your own and food on your table you would have been classed as well off, today most of us have this and have the money to pay our vital bills but we feel and think that we are constantly going to run out of money or no matter what we do we’ll never be able to earn enough money to do everything that we want to do, or we bury our heads and spend money we don’t have on credit cards and loans and then lay awake at night worrying about debt and feeling like there isn’t a way out of that debt.
This relates to people that are financially wealthy as well, people can be financially well off but still feel poor and live in a state of scarcity.
I’d like you to try an exercise now, on a piece of paper draw a line down the middle and on one side put positive thoughts and on the other side put negative thoughts and then for the next 5-10 minutes write down all of the positive thoughts and negative thoughts that you have when you think of your money and your financials and future and how it affects your life. Please don’t overthink this just write down all of the thoughts that come into your head, there are no right or wrong answers for this.
An example could be: (it doesn’t matter if you have more thoughts on one side it’s whatever thoughts come into your mind when you think about your money and your financial future)
I am grateful to have the money to pay for the roof over my head and the comfortable bed that I sleep in each night
I’m looking forward to my next holiday and I’m grateful I’ve got the money to pay for it
I have unlimited earning potential if I set my mind to it
I’m determined to clear my debt and plan for the future and that excites me
I’m never going to have enough
Money is the root to all evil
I’m never going to get out of debt (there’s no light at the end of the tunnel)
There’s no point trying to budget I won’t stick to it
Now look through both lists. When you look through the negative thoughts you have when you think of money and your finances is there anything there that could be holding you back from earning your potential and being on the path to financial freedom (whatever that may look like to you)? Thinking back to earlier when we talked about patterns that your parents or people you grew up around had are there any negative and or positive thoughts that you have now that you grew up seeing and listening to?
Do you want to change your negative thoughts and if you had a negative or limiting money story growing up that too?
Please circle the 3 top positive thoughts you have about money and your finances, when you look at those thoughts how does it make you feel?
By changing the way we think, look and ultimately feel about things can bring on huge positive changes in our lives and it’s the same with our finances. I’m not saying you’re going to land a million pound dream job or contract over night (never say never and I’d be so excited for you if that happened) but by making small daily changes and being aware of when we’re going down a negative thinking route and changing that to focus on the positive thoughts that you wrote on your list it can start you wanting to make more positive changes and start getting excited about your financial future.
If you don’t already do this, one great tool to use and have is a cashflow that you update each month at the least. By doing this it gives you a lot of clarity about where your money is going and you can also use it to see if you’re spending money on things that you aren’t using (do you have subscriptions you pay for but haven’t looked at them since you signed up? Or a gym membership that you never use and it might be more cost effective to pay as you go if you’re only going once in a blue moon?) that you can cancel and then use that money to either save towards whatever you want in the future or towards clearing your debts so that you can start saving for the exciting things you want to do in the future.
If you’re not sure on where to start or how to use a cash flow this post could help or if you would just like a template to get you started there are some easy to use basic downloadable templates here
Money is energy, it’s a tool, it’s a means to an end not an end.
Wealth is a state of mind, if you think you are wealthy and believe you can be financially wealthy and you focus on what extra value you can give to others (your customers, your employer, your future customers) you will capture more money along the way but…if you believe that you will never be wealthy and you will never have enough money to be financially free (whatever that means to you) then you won’t.
Keeping your positive money thoughts in your mind where do you want to be in 5 or 10 years time?
Tony Robbins has a saying that I love, he says that everyone overestimates what they can do in 12 months but massively underestimates what they can do in a decade! So if you started making small daily positive changes now where would you want to be in a decade?
If you would like to clear any money blocks that you might have or look at the limiting beliefs you have and clear those you can book my MONEY MINDSET coaching package here or why not book a free consultation here to see if this is something that could work for you.