Updated: Oct 16
What do you focus on in your life? Do you focus on what you CAN control or what you CAN’T control?
We don’t experience life as it actually happens we experience what we focus on and the meaning that we then give to it. Is your life happening FOR you or TO you?
If you think of a painful experience in your past, when you think about it..do you think about how much stronger it has made you now and the things you have done since that you wouldn’t have done if that had never happened to you or do you focus on the thing that happened in the past and how it has held you back from doing things that you wanted to do and you live the feeling that you felt when it happened every time you think about it?
An example of this is, I had emergency open heart surgery at the end of 2016 to replace my aortic heart valve as it had been severely leaking and was picked up in a routine check up where I thought I had pulled a muscle. For 3 years after the surgery all I focused on was “my heart condition”, I didn’t push myself, I never walked too far as I’d get out of breath and then I’d focus on that and the story I was telling myself (my focus) was that my heart wasn’t working properly and there was something wrong with me because I had a mechanical heart valve and had to have surgery at 36 when I was the fittest I’d ever been in my eyes. All I was focusing on was what had happened TO me and then I had a scan done in February 2020 where I was told to prepare to have another open heart surgery to replace the valve again!
Have you ever worried that something bad is going to happen and you really stress that it’s going to happen and then it doesn’t? Did you stop and think of how much time and energy you spent and how miserable it made you while you were worrying about that thing that never happened in the end?
I attended an amazing training (Tony Robbins UPW) that really made me stop, open my eyes and look at what I was focusing on and also what story I was telling myself and this is when the breakthrough happened! I realised all I’d focused on up to that point was what had happened TO me and how it was affecting me in the WRONG way. I was the one holding myself back, my heart is perfectly capable of working out (and I am benefiting massively from working out and going for long walks now) but I was making myself worse because it was my main focus that “something was wrong with me”. Just by changing my thoughts and focusing on what I CAN control not what I CAN’T control (how I can make myself more healthy through exercise and eating healthy food and also being constantly aware of what stories I am telling myself), I got my control back. I then had another scan in July 2020 and my cardiologist is now not worried, I don’t need another surgery and it is something they are going to keep an eye on, he told me to “keep doing whatever you have been doing”! Now I am not a medical doctor and please if you have a heart condition do not take this as medical advice, this is my own personal experience but what I am trying to explain is how powerful just changing the way I thought about the same thing has and is completely changing my life.
Now, why am I telling you this and what has it got to do with money?! Are you struggling financially and want to achieve financial freedom and deep down somewhere you know that you are capable of doing it?
What do you focus on when you think of your finances? Do you constantly focus on not having enough money and there being no way out? Or are you focusing on more ways to earn money so that you can improve your finances? By thinking of what additional value you can add at work to get that raise that you’ve been thinking about (or not)? Or what extra value you can add for your customers and future potential customers to grow your business?
When we become conscious of the meaning that we are giving to things that are happening in our lives (are we are holding ourselves back from our true potential or not) and we then make a decision there and then that things ARE GOING to change and we start making changes immediately that is a breakthrough and it can be completely life changing!
By changing how we look at something and what we are focusing on when we think about those things can radically change our lives. As you can see from my personal story, we can do this in any area of our lives not just money.
Where your focus goes energy flows, are you focusing on how life can work FOR you or how life is happening TO you?