Updated: Aug 27
"If you really want to do something you'll find a way. If you don't you'll find an excuse"
Which one are you? Are you finding the way to achieve your goals and your dreams or are you finding excuses?
Nothing will happen from the comfort of your couch, if you want to start making changes you just need to take one step in that direction. At the end of every day I ask myself what I've done that has got me one step closer to my goal. You don't have to be moving mountains every day it's just small steps at a time always moving forward.
What is your ideal AVERAGE day?
Sharon Pearson at TCI taught me this exercise and it is a great exercise to start with to look at where you are now and where you want to be without thinking to yourself things like "when I have this I will be happy" or when I have achieved this (more money, bigger house, nicer car etc I will be happy". The truth is gaining more "things" will not make give you automatic happiness.
This exercise looks at what you would like your AVERAGE ideal day to look like and this helps to valuate where you are now and then can be used as a benchmark to how you are working towards your goals and dreams and the life that you want to be living.
A life well-lived consists of moments upon moments, where you experience what it is you value experiencing.
Time with family
Being with friends
A sports activity...
These moments, when combined into 24 hours, create your “ideal average day” that you want to live every day.
HOW TO DESIGN & LANGUAGE YOUR IDEAL AVERAGE DAY
A fundamental principle of successful goal-setting is to be able to “language” your goals well. Because what you cannot put in specific words, you cannot achieve.
When taking the Ideal Average Day exercise, make sure your language meets the following criteria:
1. Positive: State what you want, not what you don’t want to achieve. The big question is “What do you want”? The problem is most people don’t know what they really want, but focus on what they want to avoid. Be the opposite.
2. Specific and sensory-based: Engage all your senses in what you’ll see, hear, feel and tell yourself once you have achieved the outcome successfully. This is also known as “future pacing” or visualising the future as if it has already happened.
3. Ecological: Ask: Do I feel a sense of congruency and commitment toward this outcome? Am I in alignment with it? Is it good for me, my relationships, my business, finances, health and is it for the greater good? The answer should be a resounding yes.
4. Achievable and possible: Far too many times, setting a big hairy goal can overwhelm you, leading to feelings of failure even before you’ve tried. To achieve a desired outcome, you need to think about how to make the first step specific and achievable.
5. Self-initiated and self-maintained: The outcome should be in your power to be initiated and realised. Do you heavily rely on an external influence such as luck or someone else to maintain the expected processes and behaviour? Or is it in your complete power to initiate it and take further action steps toward it?
6. Increased choice: An outcome that you’re aiming to achieve should ideally increase your choice and not limit you. There should be more than one way to achieve the same outcome. Because having only one way to do it is rigid. Two is dilemma. But having multiple options is truly freeing.
You see, most people live two versions of themselves…
The ‘surface’ version that we take out to the world and think is as we
‘should’ be, and...
Our ‘core’ self – the true selves we are meant to and desire to be.
This exercise is designed for you to get back to your “core”. It takes as little as half an hour or up to four hours; it depends on you and how much you want to put into it.
“The Ideal Average Day” model is one of the most fundamental, effective and “safest” exercises coaches learn to explore when they start their coaching journey here at The Coaching Institute.
Before you do this exercise, remember that every person's Ideal Average Day is a Work In Progress.
The following exercise will instantly tell you whether you're living your “song”, whether you're on the right track and if not, how to course-correct yourself.
Whatever it is for you, the question to ask yourself is this – what is my Ideal Average Day? The day which, if I was to live it every day, I’d never get bored and I’d never get sick and it wouldn’t hurt anyone or me. Use the following list of questions to identify and envision your ideal life, one day at a time.
If today was my ideal average day...
WHERE WOULD I LIVE?
WHAT WOULD MY HOUSE LOOK LIKE?
WHAT WOULD I HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?
WHAT’S THE VIEW LIKE?
WHAT ARE THE CONVERSATIONS I’M HAVING WITH PEOPLE IN MY LIFE?
WHAT DOES THE MUNDANE, EVERYDAY STUFF IN MY LIFE LOOK LIKE?
WHAT AM I SPENDING THE FIRST HALF OF MY DAY DOING?
WHO ARE MY FRIENDS? WHAT DO WE ALL TALK ABOUT?
WHAT DO I DO ALL DAY?
WHAT IS MY WORK LIFE?
WHAT DO I HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? WHO’S IT WITH? WHAT DO WE DISCUSS?
WHAT’S FOR LUNCH? WHO’S IT WITH? WHAT DO WE DISCUSS?
WHAT DO I HAVE FOR DINNER? WHO’S IT WITH? WHAT DO WE DISCUSS?
HOW DO I ACHIEVE MY PERSONAL FULFILMENT?
HOW DO I STAY HEALTHY?
WHAT CHOICES AM I MAKING TO HAVE A WELL-ROUNDED, BALANCED LIFE?
WHAT CHOICES AM I MAKING TO ATTRACT FUN, LONG-LASTING AND NURTURING RELATIONSHIPS?
WHAT CHOICES AM I MAKING TO ATTRACT WEALTH IN MY LIFE?
Copyright to Sharon Pearson - The Coaching Institute